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Self Image And Self Sabotage
THE HIDDEN REASON WHY YOU SABOTAGE YOUR DIET AND FITNESS EFFORTS JUST
WHEN THE GOING GETS GOOD
(AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT)
Tell me if this has ever happened to you: You decide you want to improve
your body and live a healthier lifestyle. You read all the books, gather all
the information, map out a nutritional strategy, design your own workout
schedule (or have a trainer do it for you), and you embark on the journey to
a leaner, more muscular physique…and it starts working! But the minute you
begin getting results, you fall off the wagon. You binge, you skip workouts,
you cheat. What’s most perplexing (and upsetting) is that you know what you
should do… but no matter how hard you try, you can’t get yourself to do it!
It’s as if some unseen force is sabotaging you and controlling your behavior
like you were a puppet on a string.
If this scenario sounds all too familiar, then the answer to your
frustrations might lie deep within your subconscious mind in something
called your “SELF CONCEPT.” Unfortunately, the average person, at the mere
mention of self concept, self worth or self image usually cries, “Oh no, not
another one of these cheesy self-help articles!”
Whenever I mention self concept to a client who has never been exposed to
the idea before, their eyes glaze over and they get a distant look as if
they were saying, “okay Tom, I’ll be out here in la-la land daydreaming for
a while… pinch me when you start talking about the good stuff like
thermogenic supplements, split routines, killer ab workouts and interval
training, ok?”
You may not understand or appreciate this “self concept” and “self image”
stuff yet. However, if you choose to ignore this information, you would be
making a grave error. You can be on the most perfect nutrition program and
the best training routine in the world, but you’ll always sabotage yourself
in the long run if you don’t understand what your self image is, how it
controls your behavior, and how to change it.
First, let’s talk about your SELF-CONCEPT: This is the total bundle of
beliefs you have about yourself, including all the names and labels you put
on yourself and the way you see yourself. If you really want to know what
your true self-concept is, write down the words “I AM ______________” and
fill in the blanks with everything you can think of. For example:
I am shy
I am not a good salesperson
I am fat
I am uncoordinated
I am sexy
I am unattractive
I am an F student
I am an A student
I am wealthy
I am a failure
I am accident-prone
I am a great conversationalist
I am broke
I earn $25,000 per year
I could never earn $250,000 per year
My body will always be shaped like a pear
I'm not very athletic
As you can see from the list, you have a “mini” self-concept for every area
of your life including your relationships, your ability to attract wealth,
your talent in writing, math, art or music and your body image, just to name
a few.
Your self-concept was first formed in early childhood, largely from the
influence of your parents and the authority figures in your life. When you
were an infant and a small child, the "lid" on your mind was wide open. One
hundred percent of the information and suggestions given to you at this
young age went straight into your subconscious where they were accepted as
true, even if they weren’t true. Your mind was like a lump of soft, pliable
clay.
When you reached adolescence, it was like the “lid” on your mind slammed
shut with all the early childhood programming locked inside. As an adult,
your self-concept has solidified, but it slowly continues to be molded and
reinforced by your successes, failures, triumphs, humiliations and
everything you experience, see, hear, read and think. For example, if you go
on a diet or exercise program and you fail, this goes into your subconscious
memory bank and reinforces a negative self-concept: “See, I told you I’ll
never be able to look like those people in the magazines.”
Although your self-concept is deeply entrenched from years of conditioning,
it CAN be changed. Before I explain the four steps to making the change, I
want to explain self-concept using an analogy everyone can relate to -
MONEY! Why money? Well, as I mentioned before, most people not only don’t
understand the self-concept, they’re bored to death at the slightest mention
of it.
I’d hate to see you doze off before you get to the really juicy stuff later
in this article, and since money is seldom a subject that bores anyone and
it’s a common denominator between all people, let me explain the
relationship between money and self-concept first. Once you see how
self-concept affects how much money you earn, you’ll easily understand how
it affects what kind of shape you’re in. You’ll then have enough awareness
to begin changing your self-concept - and your body - for the better.
Question: If you won a large sum of money, or if your annual income suddenly
became your monthly income, how would you feel about it?
“That would be AWESOME!” is what most people blurt out initially. I have
news for you: As bizarre as this may sound, I guarantee that if your old
self-concept was still locked in place, you’d do everything possible to get
rid of your new-found wealth. You’d make bad business decisions. You’d be
unsuccessful in sales. You’d have an uncontrollable urge to go out and spend
the money, splurge on things you didn't need, invest in things you knew
nothing about, lend to people who wouldn't give it back or even flat out
lose it! Just look at what happens to most lottery winners.
Even though everyone SAYS they’d like more money, that’s only on the
conscious, surface level. The problem is, your behavior is NOT controlled by
your conscious mind; your behavior is controlled on a deeper level - from
your subconscious mind where your self-concept is located. If having a lot
of money isn’t consistent with your self-concept, it will sooner or later
lead to some form of sabotaging behavior to bring you back down to your
comfort level.
Most people stay inside a comfort zone that’s consistent with the concept
and image they hold of themselves. They rarely rise above it or allow
themselves to fall below it. Any time you try to make a change in your life,
whether it’s losing fat or earning more money, it will stir up resistance
inside you because you’re attempting to move beyond the safe, familiar and
comfortable.
To earn more money, you must see yourself as capable of earning more money
and worthy of keeping it. If you see yourself as a $24,000 per YEAR person,
you’ll NEVER earn and keep $24,000 per MONTH unless you see yourself as a
$24,000 per month person.
Are you starting to understand how the same thing could happen when you try
to change your body?
To be lean, healthy and fat-free, you must see yourself as being capable of
achieving that body and worthy of maintaining it. If you see yourself as a
fat, pear-shaped person, you’ll NEVER be a lean, fat-free person until you
see yourself as a lean, fat-free person.
Just when you start to see results and become happy with how you look…. all
of a sudden, you’ll get the irresistible urge to sleep in and blow off your
6 a.m. workouts. You’ll get uncontrollable cravings for Ben and Jerry’s
Chunky Monkey ice cream at 11:30 p.m. You’ll lose your motivation. You won’t
“feel” like working out. These self-sabotaging behaviors are all symptoms of
a self-concept that’s inconsistent with your present results.
The part of the self-concept that affects your physical condition and
ability to achieve your perfect weight is called the SELF-IMAGE. Maxwell
Maltz, a plastic surgeon and author of the best seller, Psycho Cybernetics,
stumbled onto the discovery of self-image with his patients. Even though he
had corrected physical defects and deformities with surgery, his patients
often retained their old self-image and continued to see themselves as
“ugly,” “scarred,” or “deformed” even though they appeared quite beautiful
by society’s standards. As a result, they continued to behave as they always
had; shy, retiring, lacking in confidence.
This led Dr. Maltz to the conclusion that changing the physical image was
not the real key to changes in personality and behavior. There was
“something else.” That something else is the self-image. When the self-image
is “reconstructed,” the person changes. If the self-image stays the same,
the person’s behavior stays the same.
People who don’t understand self-image erroneously put all their attention
on changing their eating and exercise behaviors, but the problem with this
physical-only approach is that it’s not addressing the SOURCE or cause of
the behavior. The source of your behavior is your mental self-image. You are
more than just a body. You are a body, a mind and a spirit. You will always
act - and can ONLY act - like the type of person you SEE yourself to be in
your mind.
If you see yourself as a fat person, you will behave like a fat person. If
you see yourself as a lean, fit and healthy person, you will behave like a
lean, fit and healthy person. A fat person would never work out faithfully
every day of the week, so why is it any surprise that someone with a “fat
person” self-image would skip workouts? Their brain is programmed to skip
workouts. Someone with a “fat person” self-image would never eat healthy,
low fat, low sugar, low calorie meals, so why would it be surprising that
they cheat on their diet and binge on junk food? After all, their brain is
programmed to eat junk. Is this starting to make sense?
To make a lasting change, you must work on the physical AND the mental
planes. Of course you have to change your lifestyle, exercise and nutrition
habits, but the real secret is not trying to force new behaviors, but
changing the self-image which controls the behavior. Put your energy on a
new mental picture, and the new picture will create new behaviors. Best of
all, the new behaviors that spring from a positive new self-image will come
without as much effort or willpower because they’re hard-wired into every
cell of your body. The “unseen forces” are now working for you instead of
against you.
So, lets suppose you have the self-image of an unfit or overweight person…
How the heck do you change it if it’s so deeply embedded in your mind from
years of conditioning? There are four simple steps:
STEP 1: CREATE YOUR NEW SELF IMAGE
The first step is to choose your new self-image. You could say this is goal
setting, but your self-image is not as much a “goal” as it is a PICTURE IN
YOUR MIND. I was on a conference call with success coach Bob Proctor last
night and one of the participants said her goal was to lose weight. Bob said
something to her that really struck me. He said, “Have you ever noticed how
people are always losing weight and gaining it back? Well, it’s because if
you lose something, your subconscious mind will immediately begin looking
for it. Instead, you have to release it and be at your perfect weight. And
your perfect weight is a not just a goal, it’s a picture.”
So what you have to do first is decide what would you really like to look
like if you could have any body you wanted. See the picture in your mind.
Make it clear, vivid and dynamic. Dream. Fantasize. You’ve been endowed with
an amazing creative faculty called imagination. Use it - it’s the starting
point of a new self-image and all lasting changes.
Many people get scared at this step and ask only for what they think they
can get, not what they really want. It’s okay if this scares you a little.
In fact, if your goal isn’t scary and exciting at the same time, then you’re
not thinking big enough. Don’t sell yourself short. Ask for what you really
WANT. Ignore anyone who tells you to “be realistic.” Take that "lid" off
your mind and DREAM!
STEP 2: CREATE A WRITTEN DESCRIPTION OF YOUR NEW IMAGE
Once you’ve got the picture in mind, the second step is to put a description
of your new image in writing. The act of writing what you want on paper is
an intermediary step in going from the ethereal, untouchable state of
thought (imagination & dreams) to the concrete, tangible state of form. Once
on paper (or a “goal card” you carry with you), your image has in essence,
begun the transformation from mental to physical. When you write your goal,
use the three P’s: POSITIVE (what you want to achieve, not what you want to
avoid or get rid of), PERSONAL (use the word “I”) and PRESENT tense (an
already-having-received attitude). Don’t worry if it’s not perfect. Just sit
down and write, write, write. You can always go back and edit, change or
update it later. Just start.
STEP 3: ACT THE PART
What you’ve done in the first two steps is literally to create a new role
for yourself. You’ve written your own script. Be like George C Scott playing
General Patton. He didn’t just act. He became Patton - he lived the part. So
do all great actors. Be an actor or actress and step into your new role.
This will feel awkward at first. Resistance will well up inside you. People
will criticize you and say you’re a crazy dreamer. It will feel like you’re
lying to yourself. Continue to play the new role anyway. Fake it until you
make it. Someone once said that most people live like they were extras in
their own movies. Why settle for less when you can be the writer, producer,
director and STAR of your own movie? Create the character and write the
script exactly as you’d like to be and then play the part until the part
becomes real.
Take actions that are consistent with the new image you’ve created. Act the
part. Do something every day that moves you closer to your goal. Get moving!
Ask yourself, “What would a person with the type of body I want do in this
situation?” Then do it. Act as though you were already the owner of your
ultimate dream body. A very wise person once said, “Act as though I am and I
will be.”
You must take action. I’m not suggesting a Pollyanna positive thinking only
approach. Affirmations are an effective part of realizing your new image,
but as motivational speaker Jim Rohn says, “Affirmation without action is
the beginning of delusion.” In fact, Maltz pointed out in Psycho Cybernetics
that the reason affirmations and positive thinking don’t always work is
because they cannot be used as a crutch to the same old self-image. What I'm
suggesting to you is positive thinking, positive visualizing, positive
action AND the fourth and final step, positive reinforcement, in order to
change your old self image.
STEP 4: REINFORCE THE IMAGE DAILY… EVEN HOURLY
The fourth step is to re-program your mind by replacing the old image with
the new image through repetition, repetition, repetition. Repetition is the
mother of learning and the father of a new self-image. It took a long time
for your current self-image to develop so you can’t expect it to change
overnight. It takes at least 21 days of CONSISTENT effort for the roots of a
new image to form and sometimes up to 90 days before the roots shoot up
through the ground and become visible for all the world to see. Remember,
there is a gestation period for everything. Be patient and persistent.
Installing your new self-image is achieved by visualizing, reading, thinking
and writing your written description over and over again, day after day,
until the new image becomes reality. These four methods of reinforcement and
repetition will burn the new image into your subconscious mind like data
onto a CD.
Visualizing is especially powerful. Psychologists have known for decades
that the human brain and nervous system can’t distinguish between an
experience that is real and one that is vividly imagined. When you vividly
imagine yourself the way you want to be, doing the things you want to do,
these mental pictures are not only accepted by your subconscious as real,
they are accepted as commands or instructions. Project your image onto the
screen of your mind. Remember, it’s your movie, so you can project anything
you want. Visualizing your perfect body image while you’re in a physically
relaxed state is even more powerful because your subconscious is more
impressionable when you're relaxed.
Thinking constructively also begins to dissolve the old image and solidify
the new one. Your self-concept is influenced by outside suggestions, but the
greatest influence on your mind is your own thoughts and “self-talk.” The
conversation you have with yourself in your head every minute of every day
maintains your current self-image and performance level, whether that’s
enjoying high achievement or wallowing in the same old rut. Thoughts, like
images, are commands to your subconscious. Once you realize this, you start
getting very careful of what you think about. Watch those “I’ms!” Change
your thinking patterns to match your new self-image. You become what you
think about all day long.
Read your written goal at least twice a day; once in the morning and once
again at night. These are the times when your subconscious mind is most
impressionable. An incredibly powerful technique is to write your written
description on a goal card and carry it with you everywhere you go. Every
time you put your hand in your pocket and touch the card, it will make you
think about your new image. Every time you get a chance, pull out your card
and read it, mentally picturing yourself as if you were already there.
Re-writing your written description is even more effective at impressing
your new image into your subconscious than simply reading it. Achievement
expert Brian Tracy says that if you write out your goal statement on paper
every day, changes will happen so fast, it will almost frighten you. This is
an incredibly simple, yet powerful technique.
You may have heard of these techniques before in self-help, goal setting or
motivational programs. But admit it - you probably ignored them because they
sounded too “cheesy.” My friend, the most profound truths in life are the
simplest and most obvious ones. Don’t underestimate the simplicity of these
methods. Many people I’ve taught these techniques to wrote them off as trite
or corny and didn’t even give them a chance. Nothing changed in their lives.
Others followed these instructions to a “T” and transformed their bodies and
their lives beyond anything they ever imagined.
There’s immense power in mental images. The formula is simple: Decide what
you want to look like, project your new image on the screen of your mind
(visualize), think about the “new you” constantly, create a written
description of your new image and read it at least twice per day, (write it
out daily for even more impact), then follow through with actions that are
consistent with your goal. Your marvelous and powerful mind will do the
rest.
About The Author
Tom Venuto is a lifetime natural
bodybuilder, personal trainer, gym owner, freelance writer and author of "Burn
the Fat, Feed The Muscle" (BFFM): Fat Burning Secrets of the World's
Best Bodybuilders and Fitness Models.
Motivation & Mindset
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